NEW JOB!

I started a new job a week ago! I am the newest RN at the Children's Hospital Cardiac Progressive Care Unit (CPCU). I have known for a while that my job wasn't my passion and some things happened recently at work to give me the little SHOVE that I needed to make the change. To be honest, I am a little nervous to work with children. It seems like they are so fragile, and small mistakes can have huge awful outcomes. Their bodies are so little and so are the doses of medications that I will be giving them.
I started out my first day with patient contact. I followed another RN whose job it is to coordinate the pediatric cardiac surgery. She orients them to the hospital and helps them understand what the surgery experience is going to be like and what to expect. She goes between the OR and the family giving hourly updates. So we approached our first family. I had already seen this 8-year old laying on the Operating Room table, the only sign of life was the tap tap tap of her heart rate on the oversize monitors mounted on the wall. The family was cheerful and oh so nice, but I couldn't help but have tears well up in my eyes. I instinctively put myself in their shoes and wondered how I would feel....knowing that it could be one of my boys laying there. I would feel so helpless sitting in the waiting room...pacing. I kept myself composed, but even now it gets me choked up. I watched this little girl's surgery--a Ventricular Septal Repair. I saw as they bypassed her heart and her EKG went flat.....I saw the talented surgeon repair the defect that had been plaguing her for so many years....30 minutes was all the time it took to perform the repair--AMAZING! Then they took her off the bypass machine and her heart started pumping again...it was irregular and unorganized (Ventricular Fibrillation). A small amount of medication was administered and she had a beautiful heart beat. The atria and ventricles performed in perfect harmony like nothing had ever happened. I know this little girl and her family have a few weeks of stress and hard work to go through. It was such an awesome experience.
As for my emotions: Throughout the day it became easier for me to see sick kids...watching surgeries...but I don't know if I'll ever be able to take care of a single patient without becoming emotionally involved. I think that will be fine as long as I don't get emotional!
I am especially thankful for the education I have and the job I have at this unstable time. I just finished reading 2 of my friends' blog of whom their husbands don't have constant work. We live in a crazy world. I could also lose my job at any time. I've learned to not take that for granted.